“Jimmy, I understand that you are ahead in your studies, but that doesn’t mean you can just sneak a cadaver into your dorm.”
“They were alive when they got here.”
“That doesn’t make it better. I don’t have a problem with you performing human sacrifice, but we have a certification program for a reason. What if you had summoned something you couldn’t control? What if people got hurt?”
“⛥ W̵̙͊̃̓͗ẹ̷̓͜ļ̶͈͚̞̪̿̍l̴̟̺̗͂ͅ ̷̳̰͈͋̀̀̀̇t̷̬̟͖̤̜͆̈́͘͠͝e̴̡̲͒̃͐c̸̢̛͇̪̈́͌h̵̫̹̺̉̌̕n̶͓̓i̴̥͙̎̇̈́̾̚͜c̵̖͖͌̓͊̂̕a̸̡̝͆̀̔̉l̴͖̝̟̈̃́́̊l̸̡͆ỳ̸̫͛̀.̶̦̥͓̫̄͠.̷̤̂̌.̶͈̹͇̜̇̌͐ ψ”
“I mean important people, C̵͍̺͚̏͜h̷̤̓̂̇̓e̵̦̽̅͗̾g̶̞̰̏̉̏o̵̘͍͑ṛ̵̨̲̭̇͌̈̿͛ͅi̸͙͊̽͝ͅt̶̨̨͔̤̒̿̌̎͠h̴̟͇̱͖̋͛́̐͊ă̴̜̲̳͇̆x̵̧̨̓̎́͊. Peasants don’t count. Now, Jimmy, I want you to apologize to C̵͍̺͚̏͜h̷̤̓̂̇̓e̵̦̽̅͗̾g̶̞̰̏̉̏o̵̘͍͑ṛ̵̨̲̭̇͌̈̿͛ͅi̸͙͊̽͝ͅt̶̨̨͔̤̒̿̌̎͠h̴̟͇̱͖̋͛́̐͊ă̴̜̲̳͇̆x̵̧̨̓̎́͊ for wasting his time and send him back to hell where he belongs.”
“I’m sorry, Chegorithax.”
“⛧ I̴̳͓̼̥͘t̸̡̹͋’̸̢̺͔̔̆̀s̷̛̫͉̗͇̿ͅ ̴̦̺͛̾͐̃o̸̜̕k̷͇̳̘̮͍̊̃̄͑͠a̷̙͊͌͂͊ỹ̶̢͐̓͐,̵̨̞͔̜̜͂͒͝ ̴͈̻̭̖̈́̿͗k̶̛͙̰̽͘͝ȉ̸̞d̸̨͔͚̲͖̽͒͑͑.̸͔̖̆̍͠ ̵̬͍͍̀̌͒̅̋ ̵̧̬̈F̷͕̤͖̈́͂̊ͅḙ̷̐e̵̦̙̝̒̏͘͝ͅl̴͉̮̠̓͜ ̷̢͔̬̰̝̑̉̽f̶̖̭͕̄r̵̩̉͂̔̕͜e̵͕̻͕͠e̵̛̳͎͇̪͆ͅ ̶̹̺̠̤̿͝t̴̬̬̳͉̊̿̒͆͝ő̶̡̦̼̦̍ ̸̦̈̀ͅŝ̸̟̼̀̄͑͊u̸̧̪̒͑m̴̡̘̭̔̈͑̃m̶̼̙͂̇̅o̸̯͎̤̎̓͛͝n̴̏̾̀͜͝ ̶̟̳͕̿m̸̖̙͒̊̕ẻ̴̺͕̹̀ͅ ̶̛̦̼͌̔̌̕͜ͅa̷̱͒͒̕͝g̶̡͓̅͒̚͝ạ̴̗͇͈̉i̵̞̥̱̤͒͗͘ṋ̶̬͛́̿ ̸̺̥͖̖̈o̶̤̯͒̍n̶̫̝͖̲͐͜ç̸͔͠e̶͚̩̽͆̓̑ ̷̬̯̙̓̋͊͊͘y̷̭̤̭̰̌ͅȍ̶͖̰̕ú̵̢̥̮̺̳̇͝ ̶̞̲̱͈̝͊͊͠ḡ̵̩̾́̐̋ȩ̵̬͍̮̖̂̄͆̌͠t̷̬̘̊ ̶̜̅̒̉̈y̸̡̧͔͇̅̐̐o̵̖̍̊ǘ̷͙̀͂͝r̷̳̩͌͗̇̑̐ ̶̧̪͖̪̋̕͠l̵̬̦̲̉͑ȋ̵͍̞̲̑c̴̞̼͉͕͉̽̃͝ḙ̴͊̆̕͝ņ̶̖̜̘̍̑̃̚s̷̛͔͉̻͎̳̆͑̈́̚ê̴̳̺̹̣̼͂͗̄͝.̴̢̧̰̗͎͛́͝ ̶̨̻̟̗̃͐̽̌ ̵̨̦̞̿I̶̡͕̦͖͗̏̊̋͠’̸͓̬͚͔͒̇͗̅̒ͅm̵̩̃́͜ ̴̢̻̘̗́̆͊̚͘s̶̛͓̞̎̓ų̵̩͂̌͛͝r̶̩̔̆e̸͎̹̎̒̏ ̷̹̜̙̯͉̽̒w̸̭̼̼̘͒̂͐̚e̴̮͆̓̇͝ ̵̡̙͖͔̬̈́̂̎͑c̷̗̎̿͛ã̸̤͗n̶̮͆̈͊̕͝ ̴̦̺̲͎̦̋̊̀̈́̚h̵̗́̚ä̴̬̎v̸̗͙̩̋ȩ̸͓͖̳̌̐͋̚ ̸͌͌͋́ͅä̸̦̹̣́̑̓͆͆ ̵̤̅̉͊̈́ḽ̷̨̘̙͕̀̐͐̀͛o̶͕̊̍̋t̶̞̳̣̋ͅ ̷̨̫̗͉̝͛͌͆̂o̶̦̮͕̥̞͗̆̓f̷͔̭͈̿͂̚͠ ̸͖̮̱͓͝f̶͇̫̀́͑͆̄ũ̸̫̲̗͓̮̏n̶̤̰͚̜͕͂̂͂͐͌ ̷̹͇̮̻͈͑͑́ṯ̶̡̨̟̠̓͛ó̴̥͔̲̆g̸̨͠e̶͇͉̮͂t̷̛͍̣̳́̿̓͑h̵̩̲͖̞͑̇̈́̚̚e̵̬̖͗̀̄ȑ̷̖̊̚.̴̧̥̣̀̓̒̿͛ ☠”
Based on a writing prompt from Reddit.
Crayshack 